After months of never ending rain, mud and grey, with uncanny bad timing British summertime arrived the day before we left, just to see us off . Everywhere suddenly looked stunning.

I love May. Who would ever want to leave England as it explodes into blossom and birdsong? Not us !

This was not good news for homey Patrick. The garden wanted us to stay and see the roses and I could feel his homesickness as I dragged him into the car, watching him cast a glance back to the dogs, his garage and the bees. He reminded me this was my idea. I knew what he was thinking

Then there was the very emotional goodbye with Aimee at Heathrow.

By the time I reached the BA lounge I almost threw myself into the Rose bucket

Mind you, by then Patrick had sufficiently recovered to have his usual argument with security. Luckily I was so far behind they didn’t associate me with him and the good news is we both arrived airside eventually . One step closer to China. Until he allowed two older gay guys to go in front of us at the gate commenting “ age before beauty” In an age where everybody’s offended by everything I held my breath before the older guy smiled wryly

Surprisingly enough, having been denied access to fly due to an out of date passport last year, this time my paperwork was in order and in no time we had boarded our BA flight. I’m not a fan of BA but using airmiles to upgrade to Business did it for me, and I have to say the flight/ bed/food/service couldn’t have been better. Particularly as Patrick’s Chinese stewardess was extremely pretty and chatty . He spent the rest of the flight learning Mandarin. Loudly .So bravo BA

Arriving in Beijing was something of a culture shock . The terminal was stunning, everything worked and it was a sea of spotless calm. Everyone was Chinese except us, the gay guys and a weird Irish bloke wearing rainbow shorts with the slimmest white legs hanging out of them you’ve ever seen . Why would you turn up at an airport in your boxers ?

I’m used to grubby , broken Heathrow , and queuing until the man comes back from break to fix the passport machine. It was very discombobulating . No messing about in Beijing though. Our finger prints were taken within yards of disembarking . I panicked, watching P for signs of rebellion, but luckily he had spotted the police officers standing on booths, heads bobbing about like meerkats watching every move. This wasn’t a game for him to win

With that same mega efficiency the hotel had someone meet us literally as we disembarked airside and she glided us though to the door of a waiting taxi. P was hoping for an electric Chinese BYD but a diesel German Merc turned up, contributing to the thick smog which shrouds this vast metropolis . Has anyone noticed how fabulously clear the air is in London these day? See, we are ahead in some things

At the Shangri La everything is big shiny and gold and obvs immaculately clean. Which led me to a false sense of security which assumed the staff would be a reflection of all this glittery perfection. China will soon be the biggest economy on earth and is overtaking us in everything…. Except English . As former colonial rulers we’ve come to expect world domination of our language but the Chinese clearly aren’t interested. Nobody speaks English, not even in this mega modern go ahead city . I get the feeling that with 1b people of their own and possibly soon replacing western world domination there isn’t much point in learning our backward nation language. This came as a shock, as I’m the stranger here in need of help ! Luckily I’ve found Shan in Concierge who must have had an English student exchange and can just about understand me. Pitying the old lady, he kindly took my iPhone and returned it with a downloaded Chinese translation App, an absolute godsend

Particularly when nothing else on your iPhone works . Everyone has nightmares about life without their phone. We are more or less living it. China has its own stuff and just like we don’t trust them , they don’t trust us, so they block Google, WattsChat, email, ApplePay, credit cards and all the stuff that controls my life . Without it I’m unlikely to be able to dress never mind drive across the world. Panic started to rise

So our first day was all about tech and trying to find ways around problems. This trip is a challenge and to start with my pet hate, tech is a very low blow . However, I’m happy to report tech and me have come to a level of understanding in the past 24hrs . I’ve gone from irrational tendencies and wanting to smash the very thing that controls my life into a thousand pieces, via deep breathing and a bit of meditation to realising I might be smart enough to outsmart it . Maybe ……

So we spent all day sorting out tech, looking out from our 21st floor into the countless 21st floor flats across a desert of concrete blocks and bugger me if it wasn’t raining . ….Just as everyone at home sent pictures of glorious sunshine and then,the one thing I’ve chased for years… the Arora Borealis surreal over the hop roofs of Marden .

I’m hoping things improve !😳

Xxx

The Navigator